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Old 6th July 2013, 08:53 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Default Audio and Component Rating System

I don't know if I am inventing what I'm about to say or re-inventing it, however since I haven't heard of it from anyone else I'll tell you. I have been studying audio circuits and speaker technology. In an effort to standardize things I have been working on a rating system anyone can understand. Forget the college level tech stuff, here's how to pick a speaker, the BEER system.

0 Beer speaker - Sounds as good as a live band and does not bother your ears in any way.

1 Beer speaker - Sounds pretty good, your friends will complement you on it and request one of their songs to be played on it AFTER a beer.

2 Beer speaker - Still sounds pretty good but you won't hear any sincere compliments about it. You will hear a request for a couple of beers.

3 Beer speaker - Starting to sound a bit fuzzy now, slightly distorted bass at peaks, and cymbal crashes are irritating. Won't be so bad after 3 beers.

4 Beer speaker - Now don't gamble any social activity on this one, You should get a refund or exchange towards a much better system. 4 beers may not help but give it a try.

5 Beer speaker - Only someone hard up for a stereo will listen to this one. Dollar store systems put it to shame. Anyone selling junk like this may not cooperate or even be found for a refund or exchange. 5 beers will soothe the pain enough to wait until tomorrow but you risk tossing it while drunk.

6 Beer speaker - Friends will request that they go play cards or watch a movie instead. Heads will **** and will give puzzled looks at the fool who would try to entertain them with this junk. 6 beers and the horrible sound will still be apparent, and you will still sense a need for a better system.
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