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Old 24th July 2010, 09:21 PM   #1
LCole is offline LCole  United States
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Talking Bat Attack

My fellow DIY'ers, at this hour, I am in the early stages of musical operations to dislodge the bats, remove an as of yet unidentified 'creature', and to defend my home from grave danger.

On my orders, audio forces have begun striking selected targets of personal importance to undermine the bat's (and other occupant's) ability to emit feces and and cause fear of personal injury while upgrading the wiring. These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 400 vinyl albums are giving crucial support -- from the use of euro, pop and industrial bases, to help with annoyance and logistics, to the deployment of audio units. Every componant in this coalition has chosen to bear the duty and share the honor of serving in our common defense.

To all the occupants (currently me and an alzheimic minature schnauzer) now in the master bedroom, the peace of a troubled household and the hopes of an rodent free attic now depend on you. That trust is well placed.

The enemies you confront will come to know your obsolete audio equipment and fear of flying rodents. The home you liberate will witness the honorable and decent spirit of of a force known as Kenwood. In this conflict, I face an enemy who has no regard for conventions of excretion or recognizes my discomfort of having them around in large numbers. Bats have roosted throughout my attic and poop (a lot) aound the deck and driveway areas, attempting to use the darkness of night, squeaking and erractic flight patterns as methods of intimidation -- a final atrocity against his myself and the occupants of this home.

I want DIY'ers and all the world to know that my audio forces will make every effort to spare innocent rodentia from harm. A campaign on the harsh terrain of a nation as large as a two car garage could be longer and more difficult than some predict. And helping myself and family achieve a united, stable, and bat free home will require my sustained commitment.

I live in my home with respect for its local wildlife, for their diversity, and for the entertainment critters such as possum might offer. I have no ambition in my home, except to remove a threat and restore control of my attic.

Our home enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The residents in my home will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with guano an the possibilty of rabies. I will meet that threat now, with my Kenwood amplifier, a mixing board as my pre-amp which is currently busy elsewhere, turntable, and a slew of 80's vintage albums, so that we do not have to meet later with unwelcomed wild life in the closet, turds on our cars, and possibly an attack from what might be either a possum or a raccoon.

Now that conflict has come, the only way to limit its duration is to apply decisive force. And I assure you, this will probably be a campaign of half measures, but we will accept no outcome but victory.

My fellow DIY'ers, the dangers to my home and family will be overcome. We will pass through this time of peril and carry on the work of re-wiring. We will defend our freedom. We will bring freedom to others and we will prevail.

May God bless my home and all who defend her.
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Old 24th July 2010, 11:30 PM   #2
T in AZ is offline T in AZ  United States
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You might try plugging the hole that they are coming in at, just make sure that you do it at night while they're out bug hunting.
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Old 25th July 2010, 12:08 AM   #3
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Bats are not a problem here, but a fellow engineer at work created a universal weapon for repelling anoying critters. It works on cats, dogs, rats, squirrels, and even a somewhat disgruntled engineer.

The weapon consists of two components. The reproducer (s) and the source. They can be as simple or as complicated as desired. The original device used an old tube type HP audio oscillator capable of producing 10 or 20 volts at any frequency up to 50KHz, and a couple of Motorola piezo tweeters commonly used in sound reinforcement (rock concerts). Apply signal to tweeter, aim at test subject, adjust frequency and amplitude until subject is notably annoyed.

Disgruntled engineer responded to 22 KHz at about half throttle. The male cat that used to spray my front porch never returned after a week of 25 KHz at full throttle. Rats seem to dislike full throttle with a random twist on the frequency knob. They are stupid though and will return within an hour of power off.
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Old 25th July 2010, 12:11 AM   #4
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And if they are coming in/living in the walls, make sure that there are no little ones in the walls when you plug the holes. When mom/dad are out bug hunting at night, the little ones are waiting patiently in the walls/rafters, etc. for their return.

Plugging the hole(s) is best done after mating season, as dead baby bats in the walls stink worse then guano.

If they are small brown bats, they can fit through a hole the size of a nickel.

It's amazing how many bats can live in a tiny space. We had about 80-100 living in a tiny part of our garage wall.
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Old 25th July 2010, 01:00 AM   #5
LCole is offline LCole  United States
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Phase 1 and 2 are complete. The audio bombardment (coupled with a few beers for reenforcement) proved to be quite productive. Whatever lives up there made no known attempt to rush my little 2x2 point of egress. After an hour of The Polecats, Motley Crue, and Nick Lowe with no indication I counter attacks, I bravely pushed forward into The Territory armed with only a flashlight, and a droplight, with Queen's News of the World as a back-up. It was a fairly quick operation: enough to find that the vent (normally about 16 tall and 42 wide oly had about two inches of airspace on the top to vent air (and allow bats) in and out of. Bad situation that needed to be rectified.

The Queen album began skipping about 3 songs in anyhow- it was time to pull back for reenforcements.

The second visit was more time intensive and thorough. This time in addition to my flash light and droplight, I brought a ten gallonwet vac, two sizes of philips head and flathead screw drivers, side cutters, a stapler and a little something more suitable for such nasty business- B52's. Planet Claire definitely got that adreniline flowing. And a beer.

After removing the inner screen (several small philips head screws in the frame), I sucked out about 30lbs of bat poop, two starling nests, and a lot of unidentifiable matter. The locals were not to happy about all the racket and squeaked during my entire operation in protest.

I must note that there were three casualties to report during these operations. While vac'ing out all that doo doo, I hit quite a few areas where something went 'ploonk!' as it was sucked up the tube. During waste dumping procedures I found the bodies of 3 of the local inhabitants. Not the cute little brown ones either. One was still sort of alive, I felt bad about it and moved on. It's the nature of this business.

My thoughts on this? It was too freakin' hot to be wandering about in the eaves of a house sucking out bat doo doo from my my vent with Rock Lobster as a backup.

Hopefully all the disturbance will be enough to pry the bats out of their residence, If nothing else, I have more air flow in the attic and got to listen to a bunch of nasty vinyl today.

Just finished off Trio (heavily edited radio edition), now assaulting the little buggers with Big Audio Dynamite.
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Old 25th July 2010, 01:27 PM   #6
Pano is offline Pano  United States
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I dunno, with that choice of music the little critters may want to stay around and party.
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Old 25th July 2010, 01:56 PM   #7
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The bats may be enjoying the music as long as it is dark. Put up lots of lights and they will leave the party. Worked for us.

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Old 26th July 2010, 02:48 AM   #8
LCole is offline LCole  United States
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Wink Change in Tactical/Audio strikes

Quote:
Originally Posted by panomaniac View Post
I dunno, with that choice of music the little critters may want to stay around and party.
You may be right about the musical selection so I dug around a little deeper in my seldom-played-but-may-make-great-wall-art/ one-album-no-hit-wonders collection. I may be in violation of L.O.A.C by hitting them up with Girls at Our Best and Blue Zoo tonight. G.O.B sound a lot like The Waitresses (of I Know What Boys Like fame) but a lot worse. BZ are reminiscent of Duran Duran but more then likely were getting booed off the stage during their Summer of Shopping Malls Tour because of their inability to cover Free Bird or Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.

By the way- I must say my little cabs (22" tall, probably port tuned below the fs of the drivers) with Pioneer A11EC80-02F 4.5 inch full range speakers seem well up to the task. The attic, with all its rafters and insulation has proven quite the sound dead place to lay down a few grooves generated by vinyl. Probably the best sounds yet I've heard out of these things. I may have to consider occupation once Fall comes around for a few more sound checks.

Part of my Audio Campaign has proven very successful- The big hairy thing (possum?) was not heard from all day. Normally thumps around like a dog scratching fleas all day. Regarding the bats? I didn't see any bats coming- saw more leaving. Early morning check seemed to confirm that my little scheme seemed, for the moment, successful. I will continue to pump sound in the attic for a couple of nights running though I might start expirementing with genres more suited to my tastes. Just to be sure.
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Old 26th July 2010, 04:19 AM   #9
m12ax7 is offline m12ax7  United States
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With the numbers of skeeters this year, I'd be happy to have your bat problems
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Old 26th July 2010, 04:51 AM   #10
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Suggest you try some Dolly Parton -

The application of a single verse from her has been known to keep the 17 Y/O granddaughter and her friends away from the house for several hours.

OTOH - be careful - the grating sound of her screeching vocals in the close confines of an attic could be very hazardous to your hearing as well....... (not to mention your sanity).
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