Marketing Terms - in plain cruel words!

[halojoy]

I thought we could have a laugh at the expense
of the Companies, we to a considerable part
have helped, by financing them.

Let us make up some good interpretations
to make those marketing terms understood better.

I have a feeling we could fill a whole book,
that would make quite a laughable reading.
A good laugh makes life worth living!

This, for a start, I found on an australian guitarist's homepage.
It is about a magnetic pickup called Lace Sensors,
which he uses.
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The thing I like least about them has nothing to do with the pickups!
It's the bizarre marketing terms that goes with them.
- Here's my interpretation:
Radiant Field Barriers = shield
Acoustic Sensor = magnetic sensor (try talking into one of them - nothing happens!)
Micro Matrix Comb = magnet assembly (spread evenly along the edges of the pickup)
Ultra Precision Micro Winding = coil winding
Iso Biflux Dual Fields = magnetic fields
Frequency Sensitivity = a measurement only (frequency response versus level)
Anti-Microphonics, Anti-Static = mounted on rubber grommets
Low Energy Particle Magnets = weak magnets

[halojoy]

Dual Mono in Sophisticated Enclosure = stereo
Black Gate Audio Super Cap = capacitor with some dark paint on

[halojoy]

Pass High Power Class A Amplifier = a heater that makes sound

[ststone]

I see a Black Gate in your future

[halojoy]

Monster Cable Pricelist = substitute for Horror Movie

[Circlotron]

Management Initiated Retirement - get the sack.

[bob4]

Originally posted by halojoy
Monster Cable Pricelist = substitute for Horror Movie

lol

I'll have to read through the story of their latest lawsuit (I remember there's a thread about it, didn't have the time to read it all through.....), the more I read and am told about Monster Cable™©® , the more I get the impression of that company being a mob of greedy idiots.

In the present issue of a german pro audio / musicians mag, they compared a whole lot of cables, and Monster CAbles didn't get a good review at all........ the cables are overpriced, the company invents jackass esoteric theories why their super-special-doublecore-whatever-s§it-cable rocks it, and is worth 80 -100$. Total crap!!!!!! Of course the wire is OK, but why should I spend such a big sum on a cable that doesn't differ at all from other cables that cost about 20$?
Well........

I don't wonder the Aerosmith suckers use Monster, but Zakk Wylde endorsing that sh#tty company makes me cry..

try finding synonyms for these:

multi-gauge Bandwidth Balanced® wire networks

Time Correct® windings

MicroFiber® dielectric

cheers,

bob

[halojoy]

Originally posted by bob4
lol

... but why should I spend such a big sum on a cable that doesn't differ at all from other cables that cost about 20$?
Well........

try finding synonyms for these:

multi-gauge Bandwidth Balanced® wire networks

Time Correct® windings

MicroFiber® dielectric

cheers,

bob

I favour SUPRA (Loudspeaker) Cables.
They have done research, and make high quality cables.
There may be better but not for same money.
They keep winning the value/money, in most comparing tests I have read.
SUPRA Ply 3.4 is a very good Working Horse.
http://www.supracables.co.uk/s-spkr.htm
Image: Supra Ply 3.4 (unshielded version)

[bob4]

Originally posted by halojoy
(unshielded version)

do they sell shielded speaker cable????

Whatdoes the Supra Ply 3.4 (unshielded version) cost?

regards,

bob

[halojoy]

in Sweden, max 5-6 Euros/meter
there are distributors in Germany and Belgium
here is a review of 3.4 Shielded

http://www.gmx.cz/engpages/kab_r_supra_uk.htm