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Old 25th May 2005, 03:03 PM   #1
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Default Punishment of bad equipment

Here are some of the things I've done to punish 'bad equipment' over the last 25 years or so - and make myself feel better and to cleanse the universe of evil.

2005: Small 12V PSU for scanner burned in barbecue, for failing after 6 months.

2004: HP Laserjet 4L printer diced up with an angle grinder, for being made of plastic parts and not lasting 30+ years like my first stereo amp.

2003: Goldstar 17" colour PC monitor thrown out of upstairs window onto concrete patio, for repeatedly making 'pink pictures' and defying well-meaning attempts at repair.

1998: Pioneer PL12E turntable dropped in Buckinghamshire canal, for losing all it's arm ballbearings during intercontinental freight and persistently getting stuck while playing records.

1997: Beogram TX smashed with axe and 7kg sledgehammer, for persistently lifting its arm out of turn and defying sincere and careful attempts at repair.

1996: Pioneer top range car radio/tape deck smashed with sledgehammer for being so badly designed that one could not fix a bad connection on the aerial socket without removing nearly every single module inside.

1995: Leap Model U2 PAL programmer sawn neatly in half on a bandsaw and returned to distributor, for repeatedly failing inbetween bouts of infrequent use.

1993: Amstrad Laptop ridden over repeatedly with BMW 3.0L, for failing as a datalogger during an important field measurement session.

1992: HP 14" colour monitor shot to death at with silenced .22 rifle, for being initially exorbitant and later having no resale value.

1986: Self-designed and built PCB etching station smashed with sledgehammer for leaking and being a generally poor and unworkable project.

1985: Unknown make of car 'driving computer' ripped of dashboard pod and thrown out of Audi window onto freeway, for measuring the fuel flow with a silly little ball in a race, and for lying about fuel consumption.

1971-1975: Numerous old radiograms in tasteless 'clawfoot-baroque' wooden cabinets smashed with axes, sledgehammers, angle grinders, huge bolt cutters, for having been dumped on an innocent teenager 'for 'parts' and occupying badly needed space.

1968: 4 transistor superhet am/sw receiver in project book by David Gibson, ripped apart for not working as expected.

My concern for the environment now forbids me to simply throw stuff away willy-nilly. It has to be punished in controlled circumstances and disposed of properly.

John the Destroyer
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Old 25th May 2005, 03:18 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally posted by dhaen
Heck, if this is your humour, I'd hate to be around when you get really mad!
As long as you can function as expected you should be good around him!!
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Old 25th May 2005, 04:02 PM   #3
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Default Re: Punishment of bad equipment

Quote:
Originally posted by John Hope
HP 14" colour monitor shot to death
Oh my!

We don't condone murders or assasinations on these forums.

Although, a long time ago, I did shoot an old console TV with a 22. Back in my young and stupid days.

Now old and stupid,
Cal
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Old 25th May 2005, 04:11 PM   #4
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I purposefully ran over my HPII-CX scanner with my 1987 Mercedes -- the Mercedes still runs -- the HP Scanner gave out after 6 months operation as a result of a failed light source -- and HP wanted $600 for a replacement.

I did try to sell the scanner on EBay (with disclaimer !) but it was so darned heavy no one would take it, even for a buck.
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Old 25th May 2005, 05:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: Punishment of bad equipment

Quote:
Originally posted by John Hope
2003: Goldstar 17" colour PC monitor thrown out of upstairs window onto concrete patio, for repeatedly making 'pink pictures' and defying well-meaning attempts at repair.

(...)

1992: HP 14" colour monitor shot to death at with silenced .22 rifle, for being initially exorbitant and later having no resale value.
You Sir, are my new personal hero!
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Old 25th May 2005, 05:22 PM   #6
dnsey is offline dnsey  United Kingdom
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Quote:
1971-1975: Numerous old radiograms in tasteless 'clawfoot-baroque' wooden cabinets smashed with axes, sledgehammers, angle grinders, huge bolt cutters, for having been dumped on an innocent teenager 'for 'parts' and occupying badly needed space.
I bet you regret some of those now - especially the nice Mullard valved ones!
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Old 25th May 2005, 08:17 PM   #7
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Default Re: Punishment of bad equipment

Quote:
Originally posted by John Hope
Here are some of the things I've done to punish 'bad equipment' over the last 25 years or so - and make myself feel better and to cleanse the universe of evil.

[...loooong-*** list....]

John the Destroyer

Dude.

Decaf.


Francois.
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Old 26th May 2005, 12:56 AM   #8
Stocker is offline Stocker  United States
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I disagree. It seems to me that almost everybody who ever had engineering tendencies has wanted to do those sorts of things at one time or another. And another. And another etc.

That someone else did it, I find quite humorous.

Therefore, it fits into the Engineering Humor category.

(even if some brute force is required to make it fit... )
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Old 26th May 2005, 10:37 AM   #9
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Default New thread

Hi

I suggest a thread could be called 'Engineer's Red Mist'.

Jackinj: Was it a Mercedes Kompressor ?

dnsey: Some of the deceased radiograms had single ended valve OPS using those combination triode-pentode B9A tubes (6BQ5??) - nothing decent like pp EL84's. Some of the others were solid state with AD161/162 matched pairs, so don't feel sorry for them!

My wife tells me I forgot the best two stories:

First there was the El-cheapo Korean VHS recorder in about 1994. From new this machine was an insect. I tried to give it away to my aged mother in the Retirement Complex she said I shouldn't try to palm off my rubbish onto her. So I threw it in the duck pond of the Retirement Complex where I hoped it would lie submerged forever in the slime. But wouldn't you know, some old dear happened to see it going into in the pond, retrieved it (probably at great personal risk) and took it to the lost and found office of the complex. Worse still, my aged mother went to claim it back! Why don't people mind their own business?

Second, there was the 66cm NordeMende TV set in about 1995. It's tech history is far too painful to relate. I couldn't sell it or give it away and nobody even wanted to steal it, not even when I left it unattended for 6 hours in the parking lot of a liquor supermarket in a very unsalubrious area of Johannesburg.
One evening after a few ales with a very festive Canadian exchange student, we decided to make a 'Compulsory Donation' of it and so abandoned it on the back of a pickup we randomly chose outside one of these 'Management Training Institutes'.


John H
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Old 26th May 2005, 11:48 AM   #10
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Those familiar with 80's British Heavy Rock, will no doubt have seen the work of "Pyro Patrick", (we'll call him that for the sake of this tale), a pivotal member of the crew on just about every tour way back then. My memory of the tale I'm about to recount is fairly hazy, up until the final moments...

Imagine a shed rock tour, circa 1987, somewhere in Germany I think. We had been on the road about 6 weeks, and one particular 12u FOH rack had been really playing up. Noise, hum, interconnects and FX units failing, the business. On this particular gig, the rack had failed spectacularly, during the obligatory ballad, in this case, the first number of the encore, and the one where it's failure would be most noticed. After the gig, the FOH soundman was seen having a few quiet words with "Patrick" when he came backstage after the gig had finished. We thought nothing of it at the time, being busy getting stuff sorted for the get out. During the get out, however, when it's place came in the truck pack for this particular rack, it was nowhere to be found. We assumed that it had just been taken onto the bus to be fixed, as had happened previously, as we had a gig in another country the next day and it would need to be ready to go in the morning.

So, after a long hard get-out, (tours in those days had much more kit than nowadays, what with set, a 40 footer just for the dummy Marshall stacks, (now there's another tale!), lighting and a huge Turbosound rig, the last truck was packed, and the locals paid off. We had been sitting in the bus with a beer, for 15 minutes or so, watching the last catering and rigging boxes being loaded, when the tour manager came on board and told us we all had to get off. Grabbing extra beers, we did so, and were escorted around to the side of the venue, where all the old seating and suchlike was stored.

There, we were greeted by the site of the rack, sitting on top of an unlit bonfire. With great ceremony, the FOH engineer, with cheers from us, walked over to the bonfire, produced a zippo, and lit the pyre. It was burning well, when all of a sudden, it started sparking, flashing, and finally exploding in balls of flame about 30' high. As you probably guessed, it had been rigged by "Patrick" with about 30 or 40 FX pyros. As due to a man of his experience, all had been placed very carefully to produce a spectacular, but safe effect. However, something went wrong...

After a minute or so of the show, a huge explosion rocked the car park, causing us all to dive behind the nearest cover. Bits of charred rack mount kit and flightcase littered the scene, and alarms started going off in the nearest buildings. We all suddenly became very sober, and realising that we probably didn't want the German police investigating the contents of our tourbuses too closely, we all ran for the buses, and departed that town in great haste, watching police cars screaming to the venue. To this day, I have no idea how the venue explained what happened that clear, warm, summer night...
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