Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Only one, but the lightbulb must want to change.
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
A: How long have you been having this phantasy ?
A: How many do *you* think it takes?
Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.
A: None, it's a waste of time because the new bulb probably won't work either.
Q: How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they're convinced that the power will come back on soon.
Q: How many sado-masochists does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him.
Q: How many mutants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two thirds.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.
Q: How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, and you should've seen the light bulb! It must have been *this* big! Five of us were barely enough!
Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.
Q: How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?
A: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. plus or minus three
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.
Q: How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. astronomers work in darkness.
Q: How many drinkers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Never mind, we'll drink in the dark.
Q: How many morons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. one to take the bulb and three to turn the ladder.
Q: How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. one to take the bulb and three to determine a reference frame in that room rotates.
Well, this is familiar, right ?
How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Tubes/Valves section
2 to argue then move it to the Everything Else section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
1 insane forum member enter equations describing the operation of the light bulb
25 to say that, besides insane, he is wrong
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
A: Only one, but the lightbulb must want to change.
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
A: How long have you been having this phantasy ?
A: How many do *you* think it takes?
Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.
A: None, it's a waste of time because the new bulb probably won't work either.
Q: How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they're convinced that the power will come back on soon.
Q: How many sado-masochists does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him.
Q: How many mutants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two thirds.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.
Q: How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, and you should've seen the light bulb! It must have been *this* big! Five of us were barely enough!
Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.
Q: How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?
A: 45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. plus or minus three
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.
Q: How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. astronomers work in darkness.
Q: How many drinkers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Never mind, we'll drink in the dark.
Q: How many morons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. one to take the bulb and three to turn the ladder.
Q: How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. one to take the bulb and three to determine a reference frame in that room rotates.
Well, this is familiar, right ?
How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Tubes/Valves section
2 to argue then move it to the Everything Else section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
1 insane forum member enter equations describing the operation of the light bulb
25 to say that, besides insane, he is wrong
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
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Great!
Thanks Anatoliy !
I just borrowed things out there and modified it a bit.
Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.
Are these energy efficient light bulbs or fluorescent fittings?
Rohs compliant or other..
Regards
M. Gregg
Well, not my intention to offend anyone, but it seems funny.
Q: How many Englishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a hundred years and it has worked just *fine*.
3 to post that they believe the lightbulb is on already, last time they were in the room it was functioning perfectly and they will not stand for being told its broken.
5 to resist all attempts at changing the lightbulb, lest the light cast harsher and altogether less pleasing light once it is switched off and on again.
5 to resist all attempts at changing the lightbulb, lest the light cast harsher and altogether less pleasing light once it is switched off and on again.
15 to offer to replace light bulb by LEDS and discuss spectral differences,
20 to add voltage regulator, discuss SS vs tube rectifiers, capacitors, slow start or fast but delayed,
30 to argue that no good light from any lamp is possible except real carbon filament lamp.
1 to open a new topic, "Bought new rubber & cloth lamp wire on the website (URL...); fast shipment, great packing, friendly seller, wide selection of cloth colors; which bulb to use with it?"
20 to add voltage regulator, discuss SS vs tube rectifiers, capacitors, slow start or fast but delayed,
30 to argue that no good light from any lamp is possible except real carbon filament lamp.
1 to open a new topic, "Bought new rubber & cloth lamp wire on the website (URL...); fast shipment, great packing, friendly seller, wide selection of cloth colors; which bulb to use with it?"
Q: How many Australians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.
A: Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.
A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"
Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's a military secret.
A: None. Russian lightbulbs are perfect. They never need changing.
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Canadians don't change light bulbs, we accept them as they are.
A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.
A: Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.
A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"
Q: How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's a military secret.
A: None. Russian lightbulbs are perfect. They never need changing.
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Canadians don't change light bulbs, we accept them as they are.
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Here is easier and cheaper
Q: How many Argentinians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nine thousand. after all, it's *our* light bulb.
A: None. We have the hand of God.
Q: How many Dutchmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to change the bulb, and two to hold the bicycle steady.
Q: How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Just Manolo.
A: Seven. One to change the bulb, a 2nd to disagree and take it out, the 3d to beat the other two up. The 4th to hold the joint, a 5th to roll a new one, the 6th OD'd. The 7th writes a letter of complaint to the EC that it cost too much.
(+16.7 million to complain that light of the new ECO bulb sukks, and that the old one was better)
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